Less than 10% of working Americans live with their parents, according to data from 2020 and 2022 from the Employee Benefit Research Center. Among them, more than one-third cover all living expenses in full, such as mortgage payments, rent or utilities. And that can cause financial problems.
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Inflation doesn’t help either: “Many families are dealing with rising costs for both generations.” “Parents face high health care and aging costs, while they and their grown children struggle with the rising costs of everyday living,” says Michael McAuliffe, founder and president of Family Credit Management.
We asked five financial experts for their best advice on living with your parents and managing their finances — all while trying to keep your accounts in check, too.
Get a picture of where you are financially now.
First, understand where you stand financially. “The most important step is to start early and clearly understand where the records are, how the bills are paid and where important documents such as tax returns, passwords, insurance and all important financial information are stored. Getting an understanding of who, what, where and why in advance can prevent big problems later,” says McAuliffe.
It is important to fully understand that “taking care often requires additional physical, mental and emotional resources, all of which can translate into additional financial needs. The time required to manage health care, from coordinating with doctors to handling insurance claims, may require time away from work, reducing the ability to earn money,” says Mikel Van Cleve, CFP and USAA director of advice for retirement and complex planning advice.
That means “early, deliberate planning can help caregivers and their loved ones cope with these needs.” If circumstances permit, caregivers can sit down with elderly parents and review their expenses and sources of income.
Clear, well-communicated expectations are essential.
It is important to support your parents, but it should be done in a way that respects your financial future as well.” Set clear expectations about who pays what, document shared expenses and avoid the habit of stepping in to cover gaps without a plan. That’s how short-term relief turns into long-term financial pressure,” says McAuliffe.
For his part, Mike McCracken, investment advisor, president and founder of Wealth Guide Financial, says “the key is clear communication from day one. debts.”
And it’s not just about money: “If you’re a caregiver, talk openly about expectations. Will you deal with visits to the doctor, medications or daily care? Is outside help (like a home care nurse) needed, and how will those costs be paid? Writing down everything to prevent financial problems builds calmness and protects everyone’s retirement goals. “Says McCrae
Yes, you need a budget – and it can be a lot.
“I would recommend creating two separate funds to ensure that all expenses (housing, food, insurance, cars, etc.) are divided appropriately. This will keep the expenses equal for both families. It is important to continue saving/investing for retirement with the right budget and spending,” says Jason Fannon, CFP and senior partner of Cornerstone Financial Services. “The most important thing is to try and balance these costs [while] investing/saving for retirement.”
Review your budget and cut back if you can.
Some actionable steps that Van Cleve recommends include: “Review your budget and look for ways to reduce current expenses before reducing your savings, explore options for elder care, transfer some of the costs/risks to long-term care insurance and understand the tax implications.”
Get a durable power of attorney.
“The first point, if it’s unusual and the guardian is entering things using the mother’s or father’s letters, make it legal with a long-term power of attorney. That will give you the legal right to manage matters on behalf of another person. Now, make sure you have a complete list of assets, debts and insurance. to monitor,” says Zachary Mineur, CFP and chief investment officer at Independence Square Advisors.
Hire a financial professional if you need one.
“Get in touch with a professional if you can help with this. Do not be afraid to ask for help because it may be very difficult. Even if the parents have property or long-term care insurance that will cover the financial burden of care, it is important to plan and talk about the effective management of the parent’s finances,” says Mineur. You can use this free tool to match financial advisors from our marketing partner SmartAsset, as well as places like CFP Board and NAPFA.
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